Drivers License

Yesterday morning at 10 a.m. I headed off with 2 friends Bob and Joey in order to get a drivers license. It's been 6 months since I have operated a car and I decided that it's time to do it! Bob has an old Nissan and has offered to let me borrow it in order to go on a date with Mary. (the car is missing windows and has been broken into 3 times in the last 2 weeks. Last night they busted another window and stole a bottle of lysol cleaner!) Nonetheless I am anxious to drive ANYTHING! With that said, we began by going to the place everyone told us to go about 3 miles from the school. This place was a fenced-in parking lot with an attendant booth for paying. We had been told that we would need to see a doctor nearby the DMV-like place in order to get a certificate of "good health". We asked the attendant where the doctors office was and he said to go into a small room behind his booth and wait. The small dimly-lit room had 2 chairs and an old desk. On the desk was an old stethescope and a blood pressure band. We looked at each other and said "is THIS the medical clinic"???? About 5 minutes later we could see a man running across the main road and then up the parking lot. He was the doctor. He sat me down, asked me my weight, height and if I was sick. He then "touched me" with the stethescope and took my bloodpressure. (I say he took it, however I do not believe that he ever even looked at the gauge.) He then had me pull on his arm and he pushed on my leg (evidently to see if I could handle any physical pressure) and gave me a certificate of good health. The cost was "$10,000 colones if you want a receipt or $8,000 without."

We then proceeded to the DMV which was not there anymore as they have built a new building, which we discovered absolutely nobody knew the location of. After following 3 different people's incorrect directions we sat in the center of Costa Rica in bumper-to-bumper smoggy traffic for over an hour. We hollered out the window in spanish to a nearby car and finally got correct directions. We were still in terrible traffic and couldn't see anywhere to park, so we sent Joey out of the car and across the street to a business (on the highway) that looked like they had space to park. We offerred the security guard $4,000 colones if we could park in front of their building and he begrudgingly accepted. We arrived with ALL the necessary papers (so we thought) and had to walk 1/2 a mile once inside the compound that the DMV occupies. We waited for 1/2 hour while the lady who reviews new applications finished eating lunch and then patiently waited in that line, only to find that we needed a photocopy of our U.S. license. I asked if we could kindly use the photocopy machine (right there in front of us) and she kindly responded in spanish, "absolutely not." We asked where we could get copies and she kindly explained that it was "our problem". I guess that DMV people go to some special worldwide school of how to be inconsiderate and grumpy while working.

We walked back the 1/2 mile to exit the compound and up the street until we saw an office that had a small sign that said "copias". We went inside and were charged .50 each for copies on a home copier that took approximately 10 minutes each to copy our licenses front and back. We walked back to the compound and back to the line and then finally saw the "reviewer" lady. She looked everything over and then stamped it with her approval. We then had to wait in another line. We were numbers 34,35 and 36. When it was our turn a large light-bulb would turn on in front of the desk that was available...kind-of funny. A man at a desk entered all my information into the computer and then printed off a receipt. He explained that I now needed to take the receipt, exit the compound and go to Banco Costa Rica and pay the $8 fee for a license. ($4,000 colones) I thought at that point that maybe they should hire some North American process-review guru in order to help them with their processes. After paying our bill at the bank we returned, had our pictures taken and were FINALLY issued drivers licenses... a process that only took 5 hours! I should start a column on my blog called "Things that take an incredible amount of time longer because you live in Central America". I could write daily! Oh well, I do have a drivers license now and can hopefully end my "driving-free-days" tally.